The problem with me is that I don't accept the rules of society. I do what I want, when I want and how I want. The problem with that last sentence is that it makes me sound like a sociopath, although I assure you I'm not. There are all sorts of things wrong with me but I make a point of not harming others.
My other problem is that I'm a dreamer with a mind that comes up with all kinds of insane scenarios, some of which, I actually intend on fulfilling. The two major ones at the moment are finishing my novel and getting to Antarctica. But you know what? Once I get those two long standing wishes out of the way, I have decided that I'm going to grow up.
Yes, I'm going to get serious. I'm going to settle down in one place and live in proper shelter. Then I'll go back to college and then law school. Then I'll get a real job in an office with computers and stuff. I'll never have to take out trash again. Interns will do it for me. Yeah! Okay, well, have to say I'm somewhat underwhelmed by the prospect of being a good little worker bee. Not that there's anything wrong with working in an office and being a respectable member of society. It just never interested me. Until now, that is.
Here's the thing. Committing to go to college basically means I am committing to giving up the almost total freedom I currently have. No more dreaming. No more impulsive decisions. No more travel, art or joy. I'm mostly kidding about that last one. The point is that I will have to work hard to make it as a square peg in a round hole and that won't leave much time for the things that I currently fill my days with. But I can't make that commitment. Not until I finish my novel and make a successful pilgrimage to Antarctica.
So you're not really going to grow up. Yes I am! Once I get those two things out of my system then there won't be anything else for me to crave, thus allowing me to stay on track. When I was young (three years ago) I felt this strong need to find the land which I felt was home. "Home" is a mystical concept to me which I won't bother explaining at present. Anyway, I went in search for home by traveling across the country and 17 states later, I found it. I no longer dream of finding "home". A better shelter maybe but not home.
So once I get to Antarctica, I can return, secure in knowing that I didn't throw away one of the most precious dreams I've ever had. Because really. Once I go to college, what are the odds of me ever being able to travel again? If I went to college now, it would be like admitting that I will never get to Antarctica and that simply isn't acceptable. The novel needs to be done as soon as possible because once I do go back to school, I will be writing a lot of papers. I hate writing college papers. I'm awesome at them but I hate them so very much. So much that I can't bear to write anything.
Of course, the novel thing won't go anywhere if I spend my entire day writing on this blog. I'm going to grow up. No, really!
